Thanks for your note, C. This man mirrors a facet of your masculine self that your higher consciousness is indicating wants attention. I don’t feel that the man in your dreams is readily connected with the man, as you know him in waking, at all. Rather, there is a discrepancy between the masculine as you experience it in the world, and how you experience it in your dreaming, higher state. When I say dreaming, I don’t mean made up, idealized, or all in your head. I mean your inner landscape, your personal mythology, symbols, archetypes. Where this discrepancy creates conflict for you is that you like the inner masculine better than the one you experience in the world around you, and rightfully so. I feel that difference, and I don’t blame you for wanting some better one bit. Your higher awareness is sending you dream images of a benevolent, balanced, compassionate man because that is what you crave in waking. You need to have that lovely, grounded masculine that you experience internally to manifest in the world around you. This doesn’t just mean you need this in your life partner, but in your relationship to Masculine, as a concept. I don’t see that your marriage is in trouble, though you have reached a point in your personal growth and awareness that needs a masculine complement. Now is a good time to speak your new relationship needs, and to determine if your relationship can meet them. It may be that expanding your circle to like-minded others for regular social engagement takes some of that pressure off your relationship.

Tao, Yin and Yang

This need is not just about your personal life, but how you react to a general climate of cultural misogyny and gender bias that you can no longer carry inside or foster outside. It’s been challenging you for some time now in your spiritual path and wider family dynamic. There is a call to be more on the outside what you feel on the inside. Remember that you are completely, thoroughly supported to be exactly who you are.

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Intentional Insights is a Q&A column inviting you to look inside yourself. Submit questions regarding a brief Soul Reading, spiritual healing, paranormal experiences, or shamanism, to Kelley at soulintentarts dot com, or contact me to schedule a full-length Soul Reading. Intentional Insights is a production of Soul Intent Arts, © 2010 All Rights Reserved. Find my current class schedule at Soul Intent Arts.

Thanks for your note, Joe. Your mother does “drive-bys” quite often to check on you. She feels very at peace but hasn’t disengaged from this plane as much as she needs to. She is concerned for you. She doesn’t feel that you are moving on well, energetically, from changes in your family dynamic. Emotionally, yes, but not energetically, and that is leaving her feeling a bit heavy. I see what looks like a fairly large bur stuck in the train of the gown she wears. To me this indicates something keeping her uncomfortably rooted in this plane, when it’s not her soul’s Nature to be. It’s small, yet a symbol of worry.

Around that I feel hesitance on your part to step into being Patriarch. Our life force is made up of two parts—one comes from the Universe, and the other comes from our parents. When parents die, their shared life force moves completely into us. The death rites of western culture don’t allow for this life force to be redistributed. That it is not dealt with creates problems for all involved. This lack affects the deceased by not being able to move on, and it affects living loved ones by prolonging their grief or creating a sense of not being able to move forward without understanding the reason for feeling stuck. The latter feels more accurate for you, but this not being able to move forward is because you sense that someone else should be in the role of Patriarch, rather than yourself. In reality, the person who should be is not capable, and despite you not being the next in line by age or feeling you are too young to usurp that role, energetically speaking, it’s you. That life force is waiting for you to pick it up and find your balance with its mantle.

Again, this is not an emotional disjoint. The ripple is due to no one picking up the etheric reins, so to speak, and it affects the whole family. Just as tribal cultures have rites for the unique life force of the deceased to be returned to All That Is, they have rites for the loved ones left behind to step into that rooted pool of sacred lineage. Realizing that it is you will trigger a psychological acceptance of that energy. Feeling what being the Benevolent Father means to you is energetic acceptance of that role. Part of you taking the step into Patriarch is developing an understanding of how you will later transmit this life force to your successor. You do not have to be a biological (or otherwise) father to bring in your parents’ shared life force; however, it is a symbolic step that we must all take in our own evolution, regardless.

While growing into that role will give your mother peace, she will still visit. Have your wife work on her fear of such. It was no accident that she saw your mother and not you. There’s great intuitive connectivity for your wife when she’s ready to hold it. For you, there is a deep, personal knowing that your family, on all sides of the veil, is well.
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Intentional Insights is a Q&A column inviting you to look inside yourself. Submit questions regarding a brief Soul Reading, spiritual healing, paranormal experiences, or shamanism, to Kelley at soulintentarts dot com, or contact me to schedule a full-length Soul Reading. Intentional Insights is a production of Soul Intent Arts, © 2010 All Rights Reserved. Find my current class schedule at Soul Intent Arts.

Hi Kelley, I am a middle aged woman who has experienced many changes this decade. Unfortunately, things seem to get worse–job, financial problems, relationships… I feel myself isolating and trust is becoming an issue. I truly don’t know how long I can hang on at my job, and there are few new jobs out there. Finances are difficult. Not sleeping is a problem. I feel blind and blocked. No matter what I do to free myself, things get worse. Thanks… Leea

Thank you for your note, Leea. What I am shown is that you have played by the rules of patriarchy to the point of mastery, and it’s time to invite in and express the feminine way. The underlying feeling of always adapting, never setting the pace, going with the crowd despite the fact that it doesn’t feel natural… These states are all indications that you have well-learned how to function in a linear world with set rules. They are also signs of the feminine giving up power to the masculine, which creates disharmony for both. On a personal level this dynamic creates a space in your daily life, in which you feel that if you could just play the game better, if you could just get that one break, if you could just meet the right person… While predictable and safe, this routine doesn’t serve your deeper needs. It is, in fact, giving away your power.

Feminine Divine, artist unknown

Now on the planet is a sense of the Divine Feminine reawakening. Where has she been? Right here, actually. But the way we live doesn’t acknowledge her, which means that we don’t honor our natural rhythms. We all know about the millennia of control of men over women, patriarchy, excision of the feminine to yield masculine monotheism. What we seem to be realizing with this re-awareness of the Divine Feminine is the toll the lack of energetic balance has taken on how we live. In Her lack, our existing Masculine is wounded. None of the established systems work anymore–organized religion, healthcare, government, social benefit. On a personal level, the systems that don’t work are the daily grind, running a household, biological and energetic political/sexual dynamics… Does this mean we can’t have these things? Not necessarily. It means we have to find new ways of implementing and sustaining them, so that instead of meeting only our dire needs, they meet all of our needs.

The place to begin this transformation is to assess what your real needs are. Yes, we all have to earn a living. We all have to eat and pay bills. To have the energy to do those things means we must be fed on deeper levels, and that is where I see you needing to provide yourself support. Giving yourself the nurture and care that you need will reconnect your inner feminine and masculine, and it will allow you to reshape your perspective on the systems in your life. If you feel supported and trusted inside, your outside will conform to those feelings. It will mirror that support and give back to you. You have worked yourself spare trying to create that support externally, and only come up tired and feeling a lack. Consider the things that nourish you spiritually: a regular massage? a weekend retreat? an evening watching the stars? an artistic pursuit? a class you’ve wanted to take? I suspect it is some collection of different treats done at a set interval. These are not empty acts of girlie indulgence. They are cogent approaches to solidify trust in yourself and expressing your untapped voice. This will be a leap of faith for you, as there is an element of needing to trust your ability to determine what is right for yourself, and gaining the courage to manifest it. Yet reading these words stirs some wild woman within who needs expression. Allay your fears of her. She is the voice of the Divine in you. She is the key to feeling whole and creating the movement and language that is right for you.

That said, I do see a better job opportunity for you in the next 6-9 months. The thing is, without a calm, confident core, you won’t recognize it. Start creating that nest for yourself now, and not only will the opportunities you need meet you, you will see them coming. With these new opportunities meeting your needs, you are quite likely to create your own new system.

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Intentional Insights is a Q&A column inviting you to look inside yourself. If you have a question that you would like for me to address in my column regarding a brief Soul Reading or questions about spiritual healing and shamanism, please send them to me at Kelley at soulintentarts dot com, or contact me to schedule a full-length Soul Reading. Intentional Insights is a production of Soul Intent Arts. Follow me on Facebook and Twitter!

Thank you for your note and your trust, Tommy. When I track back through your life force to the place you were before this manifestation, I find you as a complete being embodying All life force–feminine, masculine, human, plant, animal, element, ether… For many people this state of being connected to All is the ideal, or “Heaven.” It’s a very calm place, without conflict and with a balanced sense of Self. Most every creature has had an experience that made it feel part of this stellar whole. Some have even had experiences in their current lives that triggered memories of being completely whole. Honestly, when I do life tracking for others into their between-form manifestations I find few peacefully enjoying that ‘whole’ experience. What is most common is being in a state of assessing direction or healing imbalances. That you are in this space is telling. What is most compelling is that you managed to bring it through with you–you never forgot it.

I feel that in most of your manifestations as form you were able to come through as this whole being, in the company of other such beings. You were able to embody both genders and there was community support in doing so. For that reason I do not feel that you have been on Earth in a long time, but have been manifest in planes that supported intergendered forms. I do think that you were able to be intergendered on Earth early in its formation and the lovely memory of that has been challenging. Times have changed. The two foremost guiding forces in this formed realm are those of masculine and feminine. They don’t exist as separately identified life force in the All. However, this plane has gone to extremes in how we honor, relate to, and divide those guiding forces. In your fully formed manifestations you did not have to cull one part of yourself out from the whole. Coming into this life, into this realm, with its rules about density and polarity, you found aspects of yourself celebrated and others completely disregarded. The struggle to honor all of yourself has been very painful. The sadness of feeling unfulfilled energetically is as real as your cells wanting to host something fully that they know they can’t: dual form.

Many readily identify that the feminine principle has been horribly maltreated in the Earth plane. She isn’t recognized in most world religions (overtly, anyway); thus, she isn’t openly reflected into how most of the world lives. What is often forgotten is that one principle can’t be harmed without harming the whole. Where the feminine has been relegated to the shadow, the masculine has been without its balanced other. It has carried burdens beyond its ability while it has observed its dearest other half be abused. You are aware of and feel this disjoint more than most, and for that reason you have always treated those around you with compassion and fairness. Bless you.

Regarding your dream, I do not have any feeling about abduction or having been changed. My feeling is that your life force originated in another planetary system. Some people truly do originate in Earth energy, some don’t. Those who don’t are challenged with the elemental structure of being here as much as with making peace with the reason for coming. My essay Coming Out Starseed may be informative, along that line. Realizing that your life force sources some place other than Earth is important in learning to connect with that source. That is the home you feel, and likely the place your feminine other is rooted. I feel you have been experiencing a simultaneous manifestation of yourself, here as a biological male, with your feminine having been forced to “stay behind” in that other planetary space Having been forced to choose one gender in order to manifest here, she comes through when she can. She’s a different energy but she is not a different you. She’s just more you.

I do feel that your wife is serving as an energetic anchor for you. She is of the same other planetary life force that you are, but in working out her karmic needs is on a different path. My feeling is that she will continue to walk with you are a protector and ally.

The good news is that time are changing again. The rules we agree to coming into this plane are becoming less rigid, more supportive of diverse life and how we live it. In that sense I do believe that you are a Shulamite woman. You are a two-spirit persevering beyond what is readily known, embodying unattainable wisdom. Be well, Tommy!

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Intentional Insights is a Q&A column inviting you to look inside yourself. If you have a question that you would like for me to address in my column regarding a brief Soul Reading or questions about spiritual healing and shamanism, please send them to me at Kelley at soulintentarts dot com, or contact me to schedule a full-length Soul Reading. Intentional Insights is a production of Soul Intent Arts. Follow me on Facebook and Twitter!